Lisa, new mum, talks about motherhood:
New mum…who am I?
Whilst pregnant people would always offer comments/advice/opinions on my bump, what I am letting myself in for, how my life will never be the same…ever. Despite being told this time and time again nothing, absolutely nothing can prepare you for the impact of this change.
The moment I got to meet my little girl I instantly felt ‘the overwhelming love’ that people talk about. It really did feel like I had known her forever. At this point I could understand why people have more than one child. Something I never understood whilst I was pregnant.
Pregnancy for me was scary, I felt so ill. Working in healthcare, to feel so poorly must mean something wrong but no… apparently this is a good sign whilst pregnant. Your body is forever changing, the unknown, the unsuccessful pregnancy stories you have seen friends encounter, the worry of getting too attached to this little being Incase it’s taken away. The worry is one way to look at it, and the road I took in my thought processes. I tried so very hard to be thankful for such a blessing of being pregnant, and I was but it didn’t take away from the feelings of fear. I wish I had worked with hypnobirthing earlier in my pregnancy as I found this a great tool.
I had an expectation that after I gave birth I would give myself a couple of weeks to ‘get into a routine’ (hahaha). Then I would have all the visitors round and go visiting them, meet people for coffee and cake. I was going to go to exercise classes and the gym by week 6. And I also planned to return to work when baby was 8 weeks. This was clearly a pre mother view on life as this did not happen!
Post new mother view on life is teaching me to try and live in the moment and make choices based on that moment. A successful day involves a content little human that allows you to get showered/dressed/hair done/ getting out/some household chores complete (albeit in stages and not all will be achieved). A challenging day involves an unsettled tiny human and if you manage to get her washed and dressed you are winning, your personal hygiene isn’t on the list on those days nor is getting out of your house as that’s just like trying to achieve the impossible…and if you do try and fight your way through the challenges to get out you will be a broken human, it isn’t worth it. Use this day to sit and enjoy your tiny human or regroup then tomorrow is a new day!
The feeding timer is actual thing I have learned. We don’t have a schedule like I read whilst pregnant, awake at 7, awake time til 8.30, change nappy, sleep, fed at 10 blah blah blah. You may have at least 1 to 3 hours between feeds (this is age dependent mainly).
After a feed allows you to make a judgement of what could be achieved (based on tiny humans persona at this point). This could be play time, a walk, housework, rest… but pick one trying to achieve more than one, well that’s just playing with fire really! You have to allow for events like projectile vomit and explosive nappies, as they will easily take a chunk from your timer. Then you feed again and the timer is reset… go achieve something again!
Despite this massive change to my life and letting go of parts of who I was, there is no better feeling in the world when you look down at your tiny human at the end of a day and think ‘we made it, we are both still alive’! She brings me feelings of sheer pride, contentment and love. The love I have for this tiny human is precious, life affirming and real. The love gets you through the tougher times. I am still me, but I am a new version of me, still discovering new elements each day.
I am Sophie’s mummy and love every minute of it.